Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
~The Grinch, Dr Seuss
Some days are harder than others. They just are.
For me, I’d like to pretend they don’t exist, and people might say, “oh, you’re just such a positive person, you never let life get you down”. That isn’t an act, it’s not “fake news”…that’s who I am; really. Some days though, I want to put up a facade, and just carry on. Usually those are the days I try to avoid people; other days, quite the opposite, I fill my day with positive experiences in hopes of turning things around.
My agenda said my day was full, and it was filled with lots of positives, so it was going to be a great day, right? Right. RIGHT?!
First, I ran and picked up my daughter-in-law to drive her to her class. Usually, we have nice chit-chat. This morning, she had overslept. She is not a morning person. So not-a-morning person! But… in reality, on this morning, I was not a morning person, either.
Since I dropped her off at the Anchorage Big House, where her program was to take place, I saw it as a great excuse to head to my very favorite beach, just around the corner. My hope for a brisk morning walk quickly fizzled, as it was high tide. High tide means more ocean breeze, and I wasn’t ready for that noise just yet. No problem, I’ll just head to Long Pond, and watch the birds for a few minutes.
Midway down, I came across a fallen tree, right across the road, preventing me from passing. Saturday night’s wind storm had left lots of fallen branches along our roads, but also had sadly left a few majestic trunks, as well. On a bright note, as I put my Jeep in reverse, a familiar face popped out from behind the tree. As a pedestrian, my friend had no trouble getting through. My Jeep however, would not. A friendly wave, and a quick conversation sent me on my way to my next agenda item.
I proceeded to bible study, even though I didn’t really want to go. I convinced myself to go, because it would be “good for me”. I did get a little nudge to focus on a particular fruit of the spirit…peace…peace in relationships that perhaps needed healing. BONK!
No offence to the ladies that were there…they all have beautiful spirits, that would hug my heart, if I let them. Today, though, I purposely left a few minutes early to avoid the goodbye hugs. That, and I had an appointment booked in North Head, so it was a good excuse to leave early.
Please don’t say it was just the devil, trying to block the Holy Spirit. [side note…I typed that in lower case, and autocorrect just jumped in and capitalized those last two words…causing my eyes to jump back at the correction…NO message in that?!]
It’s just more noise.
I headed to an acupuncture appointment. I went to my first one last Monday, and felt I got a lot out of the procedure. Today, I knew I was going in much more stressed, mulling over that thought of building peace in a particular relationship…or three. I was hopeful this next hour would magically take care of everything. A couple of the needles went in harder than last time, which just signified to me there was some negative energy built up, creating a bit of a barrier to healing powers.
I felt a little better by the end, having taking the time to calm, with quiet music, soft light and soothing tea. Heck, I don’t even drink tea, let alone like tea. “Let your mind be open to the peace that awaits”.
[another side note…honestly, the needles…pin pricks..don’t even really hurt; this day, they were just meeting resistance…MY resistance. I encourage any one to give it a try, it’s worth the experience at least once]
But there are days. Days when I feel like it’s hard to find that little bit of “pretty” amidst all the hard, crushing stuff. Days when you know a trip to Stanley’s Beach is sure to cure it all, and get you back on track.
Even if the sky is grey and clouds are looming, you push on, hopeful you’ll find your way. Eventually, I will, because I always seem to. I can’t even explain it, when trying to advise a friend… all I can offer, is just keep moving. Moving from this space. As long as you keep moving, you’ll find another space. And another. And another. There might be days when you try so very hard to “get there”, but you keep stumbling.
Stanley’s has changed so very much over the past year. So many storms have changed its topography. It used to be, I could count on low, low tide to be the hour to fully enjoy this beach, no matter the weather. But in recent weeks, the little lagoon at the top has let a little trickle leak out and make its way to the shoreline. More recently, that trickle expanded to a brook, and on this day, felt more like an honest to goodness river.
As much as I wanted to cross, I was unable to. I thought I came prepared. Prepared to cross, prepared to breathe in the salt air, prepared to shake the cobwebs.
But some days are just plain and simply, hard. HARD.
I brought a warmer coat. I brought older shoes that I wouldn’t care getting wet. I brought a baggy for beach glass. I brought mittens. I even brought a granola bar and chocolate chip cookie. I was prepared. I was ready to clear my head space, to turn this day around.
But the trickle, the brook, the river was just more than I could handle today. I traced the brook down to the distant shore, and just stood, looking out.
This day, there was just too much noise. I just wanted to Be Still.
It’s three days later, and I woke up deciding not to run to sunrise, ready to embrace the early morning stillness. Enough of this noise already!
After awhile, hubby woke up and clanged in the kitchen, preparing his morning coffee. He came in and turned on the tv. Yay! It wasn’t CNN. It was some nature documentary. That was excusable background noise.
It didn’t take long…the remote switched to CNN and the latest shooting; Wilson stood by the kitchen table meowing for breakfast; and Parker avoided my chair, jumping up with Philip.
Oh, the noise!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!